Children’s science exam answers

Thanks to Ellen for these:

Children’s Science Exam answers.

Q:            Name the four seasons.
A:            Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q:            Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to  drink.
A:            Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large  pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q:            How is dew formed?
A:            The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q:            How can you delay milk turning sour?
A:            Keep it in the cow.

Q:            What causes the tides in the oceans?
A:            The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water  tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the  moon, and nature  hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q:            What are steroids?
A:            Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q:             What happens to your body as you age?
A:            When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q:            What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A:            He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q:            Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A:            Premature death.

Q:            How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A:            The body is consisted into three parts – the   brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.  The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the  five  bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q:            What is the fibula?
A:            A small lie.

Q:            What does “varicose” mean?
A:            Nearby.

Q:            Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”
A:            The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q:            What does the word “benign” mean?’
A:            Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

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